Strange Majors...

This girl is apparently majoring in yelling...or being a badass...OR yelling with a minor in being a badass.

Obama's Visiting Israel This Week.

This was a direct quote as he boarded Air Force One.

Administration Finally Looks Up "Budget" in Dictionary

Subsequently drafts one.

*ZING*

Your Weekly Dose of WTF? - 2 Nov 2012

Here's something I toyed with for a while as its own website.  I dropped the rights to that URL, but I still wanted to share something like this on a weekly basis.  This will be in addition to any "regular" posts of my own design.  Anyway, here's the article and the original link.

Cop Tasers Little Boy
SANTA FE, N.M. (CN) - A New Mexico policeman Tasered a 10-year-old child on a playground because the boy refused to clean his patrol car, the boy claims in court. Guardian ad litem Rachel Higgins sued the New Mexico Department of Public Safety and Motor Transportation Police Officer Chris Webb on behalf of the child, in Santa Fe County Court. Higgins claims Webb used his Taser on the boy, R.D., during a May 4 "career day" visit to Tularosa New Mexico Intermediate School. "Defendant Webb asked the boy, R.D., in a group of boys, who would like to clean his patrol unit," the complaint states. "A number of boys said that they would. R.D., joking, said that he did not want to clean the patrol unit. "Defendant Webb responded by pointing his Taser at R.D. and saying, 'Let me show you what happens to people who do not listen to the police.'" Webb then shot "two barbs into R.D.'s chest," the complaint states. "Both barbs penetrated the boy's shirt, causing the device to deliver 50,000 volts into the boy's body. "Defendant Webb pulled the barbs out [of] the boy's chest, causing scarring where the barbs had entered the boy's skin that look like cigarette burns on the boy's chest. "The boy, who weighed less than 100 lbs., blacked out. "Instead of calling emergency medical personnel, Officer Webb pulled out the barbs and took the boy to the school principal's office," the complaint states. Higgins says the Tasing gave the boy post-traumatic stress syndrome, and that "The boy, R.D., has woken up in the middle of the night holding his chest, afraid he is never going to wake up again." She adds: "No reasonable officer confronting a situation where the need for force is at its lowest, on a playground with elementary age children, would have deployed the Taser in so reckless a manner as to cause physical and psychological injury." She seeks punitive damages for the boy for battery, failure to render emergency medical care, excessive force, unreasonable seizure, and negligent hiring, training, supervision and retention. Higgins and R.D. are represented by the Kennedy Law Firm, of Albuquerque.

http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/10/30/51809.htm 

Book Titles

I've been playing with the idea of writing a book for a while now.  It would probably take me years, what with my job, school, ADHD and alcoholism, but I think that it could be a good learning experience, and maybe even help some people.

NOTE: Only about 96.5% of what I just wrote was true.

Here are some titles I've been throwing around a Motel 6:

The Backpocket Handbook of Smartass Remarks and Comebacks

How NOT to Pick Up Chicks

(To Start, They're Called "Women")

"Welcome to Work. You're Fired©"

(Why Your Boss Hates You)

What Happens in Vegas...Can Be Submitted in a Court of Law

How to Get Ahead in Life Without Scraping Your Knees

Why I'm Better Than You

(And Other Reasons to Buy This Book)

Don't Force It

One thing I've learned in my relatively short time on this blog is that you really need to wait for the inspiration to strike you for a post.  In other words, don't force it (good advice for writing posts as well as with women).

Tonight, however, I'm going to try and force it--Don't worry, I'm talking about the blog, not women.

Most of my posts are a best effort multimedia attempt at eliciting a chuckle, or hopefully, some real laughter.  Doing so with just text is much more challenging (and usually just as boring for me as it is for you).  

So without further adieu, I apologize in advance.

(Hey, here's the link. Apparently, it wasn't obvious enough):

Phrases You'll Never Hear (Except Here)

In order to spruce this entry up a bit (and take up more of your fancy widescreen monitor), I will list out a few of these unique phrases in a signage format.

I can't take credit for all of these, but I will.

  (Actually, this one might work if I knew how to say it in Chinese.)